Ian Loftus, aka Captain Spurgle, the key figure behind the resurgence of Australian sparkling red wines, is also something of a car nut. His mind slipped into sixth gear while pondering the UK’s release of the BMW (Botham Merrill Willis) wines. Some related marketing possibilities occurred to him, perhaps in harmony with a splosh of indigenous lubrication, namely: Flat 6: A still wine drunk by Porsche nuts on the sixth of every month. Boxster Red: After excessive lubrication, the drinker becomes agitated and tackles the barman. Synchronised (gearbox): Able to drink five different wine styles in unison. Tiptronic: A rotten wine, a new term to cull or tip out. Parker Stepronic: Blockbuster wines only understood by certain American wine tasters (out of step with reality). Right Hand Drive: The George Bush administration’s preferred wine style. Immobiliser: I need a drink with no drive right now. Thanks very much, Lofty.
